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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855631">Tomorrow and For All of My Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit'>howtosingit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, season 1 with a soulmate twist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:34:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855631</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just wanna hold you close, but so far / all I have are dreams of you / so I wait for the day and the courage to say / how much I love you”</p><p>*</p><p>Soulmates AU. Carlos has been dreaming about his soulmate for as long as he can remember, but that doesn’t mean he’s prepared for the day when he finally meets him.</p><p>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos - Day 21: “Dreaming of You” by Selena</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>247</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tomorrow and For All of My Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the hardest fic I’ve ever written, and it fought me every step of the way. I absolutely love soulmate AUs and always admired those who wrote them well, but never thought that I would ever attempt to do it myself. And then, this happened. There’s a lot going on here, so I hope you enjoy the read!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>——————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos has been dreaming about his soulmate for as long as he can remember. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows that they were dreams about his soulmate, and not just other random thoughts in his head, because they were so much more visceral and sensitive than normal dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started when he was really young, like it does for everyone. Then, his dreams were filled with sounds of laughter, bright and carefree. Sometimes, he remembers feeling like he was being hugged in his dream, as if his soulmate was his best friend who just wanted to hold him close for a moment. Visually, there wasn’t much to look at, but he remembers a recurring green and blue hue that accompanied the noises and feelings that his soulmate shared with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dreams started to change when he turned 12. The visuals shifted, but they remained unfocused, as if he was staring through a frosted glass window. Objects began to take shape, but nothing that he could easily identify. The green-blue hue lingered and the laughter deepened, while the hugs became gentler, closer, and longer-lasting. Carlos remembers a number of dreams where he felt like he was holding someone’s hand, their fingers tightly intertwined, a perfect fit. Still, he had no idea who his soulmate was, or what they looked like.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Carlos is 15, he realizes that he’s gay. It scares him, not knowing if his discovery means that he can’t have a soulmate anymore. He reads as many books and watches as many videos as he can about them, trying to learn as much as possible. It’s not until he sees a video of two men talking about how they found one another that he’s able to breathe easier. Soon after, the more he imagines himself with another man, the more one begins to take shape in his soulmate dreams, though he still lacks any distinguishing features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those videos also reveal to him the darker side of soulmates, how some people choose to take blockers to disconnect the link between themselves and their soulmate. He learns that not all soulmates are everlasting, that just because destiny has chosen someone for you, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be happy forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos understands all of that, but he can’t help but to believe in the grand romance of it all. He knows that he and his soulmate will love each other until the end of time. He might not know who his partner is, or what he really looks like, but Carlos knows how he feels when he thinks of him, how loving and caring he can be when they dream of one another. He makes Carlos feel safe and cherished, and that’s all that matters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Carlos has spent his entire life dreaming of his soulmate, and how he can’t wait to meet him. Except, when he’s 25 years old, all of his hopes come crashing down around him when he suddenly stops dreaming of the man he’s meant to find.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first, when he wakes up, Carlos is confused. Every night for the past 22 or so years, he has had a soulmate dream. It’s become a source of comfort for him, feeling like he has someone near him through the night. For the first time, he wakes up feeling nervous, and a little scared. He closes his eyes again, trying to recall anything about last night. Not only does he not remember having a soulmate dream - which he always remembers - but he can’t recall dreaming at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels off that entire day, but he goes to bed that night hopeful that he’ll get to experience some kind of dream. And he does, but it’s not a soulmate dream. In fact, Carlos has his first nightmare, which leaves him feeling shaken and alone. He’s never felt alone in a dream before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For two months, Carlos doesn’t have a single soulmate dream. Not until the night that he meets a firefighter by the name of TK Strand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos is sitting at the bar, nursing his beer, his mind elsewhere, when Michelle finds him, the EMS captain throwing her arms around him in a fierce hug. “Why the long face, Carlos?” she asks, frowning over her shoulder at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know why, chica,” he says, swallowing back the last of his beer before waving down the bartender for another. “I don’t know why you keep making me come out to these bar nights, I’m just weighing you down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos,” she starts, taking a seat next to him as she grabs his arm, “I know these last two months have been really hard, but you can’t live like this forever.” At his hard look, she presses closer, resting her forehead against his arm. “I’m sorry, that was insensitive.” There’s a moment of silence as Carlos downs half of his third beer. “Should I ask about the therapist?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets out a sigh, thinking about the woman he’s been going to see since his sleep problems started affecting his work. “It’s fine, Michelle. She’s prescribed me some sleeping meds that at least calm me down enough to knock me out. Still no dreams though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything else?” Michelle hedges, giving him a look when he glares over at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, she also said I need to try to live my life,” Carlos huffs, taking another drink. “Michelle, I wish it was that easy, but he was a part of me for 22 years, I don’t know how I’m just supposed to get over that in two months.” He can feel his voice waver, his eyes stinging as tears begin to form without his permission.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay,” Michelle says, pressing close again to wrap her arms around him. Carlos takes a deep breath, letting her ground him. “Listen, what if tonight, just for one night, you give yourself a break? For one night, you let yourself have fun, and you dance with a pretty boy, and you just let life happen. No thoughts about destiny or the future. Leave everything else for tomorrow, okay? What do you say?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos stares down at his bottle for a moment, thinking it over, before draining the rest of his drink and turning to Michelle with a sharp nod. “Okay, chica. One night, just for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face lights up in a smile before she leans down to press a kiss to his cheek. “There’s my guy. Okay, I’m going to go force the new fire captain out on the dance floor, and I think you should invite his son to dance with you. I won’t have two hot guys sitting out of a line dance, not on my watch!” With a wink, she turns away from him, heading over to the table where the new crew of the 126 is seated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos notices TK immediately, the back of his button-up shirt stretched tight against his wide shoulders. He remembers the man from the emergency earlier that day, his sharp angular features and bright smile. Though their interaction was brief, it was the first time that Carlos’s mind had shifted from his soulmate in almost two months. As he watches the rest of the table rise to dance, TK staying put, Carlos can’t help but to smile at the way he tilts his head to the side to sip from his straw; it’s incredibly endearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes at the thought that maybe Michelle might actually have a point, he rises from his seat and moves towards him, watching as the man’s eyes widen when he asks him to dance, his lips curling into a small grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stay close together, Carlos relaxing more and more with each minute that he dances with TK. At the end of the night, stumbling exhausted and elated from the honky tonk, they climb into his Camaro and, 20 minutes later, burst through Carlos’s front door, their lips attached as they claw at each other’s clothes. By the time they fall into bed together, Carlos hasn’t thought about his soulmate in over three hours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And for the first time in 64 days, Carlos dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the most vivid dream he’s ever had. Whereas once his soulmate dreams felt like looking through a translucent window, this one is clear as day. The images are sharp and focused, the sounds amplified as if they’re happening all around him. He can feel the touches as he sees them, almost like they’re real, and they make him feel so safe and cared for as he stares at the man at his side, lit softly by a green-blue light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s TK. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes to find the man in question gathering his clothes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” he says, his heart feeling so, so light as he stares at the man storming around his room, pulling on items of clothing that they had quickly ripped off the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, sorry,” TK replies, his voice thin as he turns in a circle to continue his search. “I didn’t mean to wake you, I shouldn’t have stayed last night. I’m going to be late for work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could drive you,” Carlos says with a smile, looking around for his underwear. “If I switch on the light bar, you’ll probably even be early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, stay in bed,” TK says, throwing on his shoes as his phone dings next to him. “My ride just got here anyway.” Then, without even a goodbye, he’s out the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos doesn’t move for a moment, processing the sudden departure. Then, his brain instantly flashes back to his dream from the night before, and he feels like he could cry. He throws himself back onto his pillow, a smile lighting up his face as a new hope rises in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He and TK exchanged numbers between dances the night before, so later that afternoon he texts him, inviting him to pick up where they left off that morning. TK texts back that he’ll be over when he gets off at 10, and Carlos spends the whole evening preparing a dinner. It’s the first time in over two months that he has cooked anything other than frozen meals, and he can’t believe how much it makes him feel like himself again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dinner does not go well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It starts off nice, the soft feel of TK’s lips on his own lighting a fire inside of him that he hopes never goes out. But then, he watches as the man’s face falls when he sees the table set for dinner. After a tense, awkward few minutes, TK storms out of his apartment for the second time in 24 hours, leaving Carlos alone to sort through his mess of emotions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t dream that night. Or the next night. Or any night after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he sees TK at the station, his hands cuffed and his face bruised, he can’t help but want to talk to him. When TK tells him a little bit about his past, and how he just wanted to feel something, Carlos can’t help but to care for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know what they are, or what that one dream meant when they were together. All he knows is that the night he spent with TK is the happiest he’s felt in a long time, and he wants to chase that feeling. Later, when he tells Michelle that he can’t stop thinking of TK, he means it literally. Ever since that first night, he hasn’t been able to get the firefighter out of his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, he asks him out on a date, and it doesn’t go terribly. Sure, TK is distracted and Carlos is a bit of a smart-ass about it, but it works out, and when they leave the bar to go their separate ways, Carlos finds hope in the fact that it’s basically the first time TK isn’t storming away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hang out a few times after that, including an eventful night out at the club with TK’s co-worker, Paul. It’s not really a relationship, and they haven’t slept together, or even kissed again, but Carlos enjoys spending time with TK. Every time he does, he learns more about the other man, and he finds that he really, really likes him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When TK gets shot, it turns Carlos’s world upside down. He’s terrified at the thought of TK never waking up; for the past three months, they’ve become </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Carlos doesn’t know what he’ll do if they don’t get a chance to find out if they can be something more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t help but to compare it to the feeling of losing his soulmate. The only difference is, he never got a chance to meet his soulmate. Sure, he got a sense of him through vague dreams, but Carlos has seen TK. Touched him. Watched him smile and laugh and cry. TK is so much more real to him than his soulmate ever was, and he doesn’t know if he can lose him too before he really gets to know him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A week later, after TK has been released from the hospital, his lung fully repaired, they meet for lunch on Carlos’s day off. After a string of nonsensical talk about Boba, TK tells him that he’s too uncertain about his life to figure out what he wants out of their relationship. It hurts, a lot, but Carlos can’t say he’s surprised. For all of his hope of having a great romance, it’s clear that that future isn’t in the cards for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, the world basically ends, which is honestly completely appropriate for how Carlos is feeling about everything. When the dust finally clears and the motorized scooters stop spinning out of control, TK and Carlos find themselves in the middle of nowhere, looking up at the bright colors spinning in the sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?” Carlos asks, his heart pounding as he breaks the silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels TK shift slightly next to him, but he doesn’t turn to look. He’s not ready to face another rejection, if that’s what’s coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m thinking,” TK says, his voice gentle, “that we make a pretty good team.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos turns towards him, his breath catching in his throat as he looks at TK’s profile, lit by the green and blue lights from above. It’s so reminiscent of his dream from a few months ago, and all of his soulmate dreams from before, that he can’t help it when his eyes fill with tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK turns towards him, reaching out to grab his hand. He intertwines their fingers, and Carlos is once again reminded of the same feeling from so many of his soulmate dreams. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wishes he knew what that meant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to give us a real shot, Carlos,” TK confesses, staring into his eyes as he smiles softly. The sight takes Carlos’s breath away. “But, there are some things that you need to know first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos feels his heart pounding in his chest. He can’t quite believe that after everything that they’ve been through, that TK finally wants to be with him. It makes him feel like he can take on the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t really talked about soulmates,” TK says, his voice wavering slightly. Carlos turns towards him, bringing a hand up to gently cup his cheek, a show of support. TK nods, his eyes shining with tears. “I told you about my nuclear breakup before I moved here, and how I relapsed,” he continues, Carlos nodding softly at the reminder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His name was Alex, and he was my soulmate,” TK goes on, visibly swallowing from the effort. “He told me that he was leaving me for his trainer on the night that I was planning to propose, and I didn’t handle it well. I found a dealer, and I used for the first time in years. I OD’d and my dad saved me, but after, I didn’t want to dream about Alex anymore, so I convinced him to let me take blockers. He was hesitant at first, but I think he understood that the dreams would be worse for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos is silent, his brain running a mile a minute to take in this new information. He can feel himself start to shake slightly as so many pieces start to fall into place, things that have never made sense to him finally starting to become crystal clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rises up to sit on the hood of his car, his vision spinning as he struggles to breathe, the green and blue lights taunting him from above. He feels movement next to him, and suddenly TK is there, a hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” TK asks, his voice full of concern. Carlos just stares at him, his eyes wide as he realizes all the answers to his questions have been right in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“March 10th,” he whispers, watching as TK’s eyes widen in shock, his mouth dropping open. “That was when it happened, wasn’t it? March 10th?” he questions, his voice rising in what he is sure is hysteria.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know that?” TK says, disbelief clear in his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“March 10th is the first day that I stopped having soulmate dreams in over 22 years,” Carlos explains, his voice trembling. “I haven’t had another one since, except for...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...the night that I stayed over,” TK finishes, shaking his head as his eyes dart back and forth between Carlos’s own. “I forgot to bring a blocker to the bar with me, so I couldn’t take one that night. Oh my god.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos watches as he jumps down from the hood of the car to pace back and forth, his heartbeat rising as he watches TK make the same discovery that he just did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I dreamed of you that night, but I thought it was just because the sex was so good that I couldn’t get you out of my head,” TK shares, his arms gesturing wildly around him. Carlos can’t help but to find it completely endearing, even while his heart threatens to jump out of his chest. “I mean, the dream was so clear, and my soulmate dreams were always so vague, I didn’t think that could be what it was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I read once that your dreams can become hyper-focused the closer you get,” Carlos throws out, watching as TK tosses his head back to look up at the sky. He freezes, facing away from him, his gaze locked on the colors above them. Carlos slides down to the ground, knowing what’s coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Green and blue,” TK whispers, loud enough for Carlos to catch it through the silence. His eyes fill with tears, the happiness overwhelming him. He watches as TK turns slowly towards him, a bright smile lighting up his gorgeous, wonderful face. “You’re my soulmate, Carlos.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos nods, his smile growing as a tear falls down his cheek. “And you’re mine, Tyler.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a moment where they just stare at one another, taking each other in, and then they’re moving in tandem. They meet in the middle, throwing their arms around each other, Carlos sinking his face into TK’s neck. He can feel that they’re both shaking, and he tightens his grip on the man he was always meant to find.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” TK sobs, his hands clawing at Carlos’s back to get even closer. “I never would’ve done it if I knew it was you, I’m so sorry, Carlos.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, hey,” Carlos says, pulling back to cup TK’s tear-stained face in his hands. He uses his thumbs to gently wipe underneath his eyes, pressing their foreheads together. “I don’t blame you, Ty. I promise, I don’t. I’m so happy right now, I don’t care about anything that came before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I found you,” he continues. “I don’t care how long it took, I found you, and if it’s okay with you, I’m never planning to let you go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK chokes out a sob, nodding as he dives forward to claim Carlos’s lips in a wet kiss that feels like a lifetime in the making.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s better than any dream Carlos has ever had.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://howtosingit.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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